Strength

I could use a little strength. I decided Sunday night that I was going to have a positive attitude this week about everything that is causing our little guy to stay half way around the world. I have noticed a difference in finding the positive but I am done. We get emails that seem to make us think things are finally moving in the right direction only to get one that makes me feel sunk. I am not sure where to turn...I am upset and angry.

90 days

It has been 90 days since we first held our little guy.

An update on our little guy.

Yesterday we received an email with an updated picture and info of our little guy. He is looking more like a little boy than a baby. They say he still loves milk and veges. We are guessing this is veggies but who knows what kind. They also gave us his personality characteristics: Moody at times. 
There are a couple of things that I think might make him moody.
1. It looks like they woke him up to take his picture they sent us. He looks moody and who wouldn't be upset to be woken up to have a picture taken?
2. He is always in girl clothes
3. He is always wearing clothes that are too small for him. (we all have "Fat" days and know how tight clothes make us feel moody.)

and the real reason I think he can be moody....
4. He wants to be home with his mom and dad.

What do we have today??? A.....

We wish our little guy was home to 

celebrate his first birthday with friends and family.

Trying to think outside the box....

Remember the movie field of dreams? The famous line "If you build it they will come". I am open to anything at this point to get our little guy home. So...if I pack it he will come. I am going to start packing our little guys suitcase. I have had everything piled in his room so I could start packing once we knew when we were leaving. Since we have no idea when that is, maybe we will get a date once it's packed.

Emotional mess

Ok, I don't get on here to vent very often so please make an exception for this post. Adoption is full of highs and lows. You honestly have no idea what to expect or when to expect it. Lately I feel like I am a mess of emotions. I try not to let this process get to me and I try to tell myself this is a process. I can honestly say I never would have guessed or known how this process impacts adoptive parents. I am so thankful for this journey but I am ready for it to be over. I know our time will come. I think one of the hardest parts of this is having everyone ask us what is going on. What makes this hard is we have no idea...believe me if we knew when we were going to go get him we would be shouting it from the roof. I understand that people are excited for us and just want to know what's going on. I think of it like this....when you are around someone who is always negative you seem to become more negative. When I am always repeating that we have no news or the news I have I don't want to share...I feel defeated.

Something to think about

An adoption friend had posted this on Facebook. Ever since reading it I have been thinking about it.


"Waiting isn’t just about what you are hoping for at the end of the wait, but also about what you will become as you wait."


What have I become on this adoption journey? 


A mom and sooooo much more.